I’m gonna admit that in most of elementary school and most of high school I was pretty socially retarded. You’ll accept that I am giving myself plenty of “do nothing like how you did any of that, ever again” and we’ll count that as me not soliciting the feedback you would have given me anyway.
That said, I’m also going to gloss over a lot of stories because let’s be honest sometimes (and yes, sometimes) succeeding with girls isn’t exciting enough to be ON THE INTERNET. I wouldn’t want my tales of moderate intrigue clogging up the internet for the bloggers that want to talk about conspiracy theories. I’m such a gentleman.
After all that build up, let’s move on to something totally not a story.
After some moderate discussion, I’m moving on to my talk about girls and their shoes. Be advised that, regardless of what I say below and how it comes across, I’m not some sort of shoe or foot fetishist. Be also advised that a hundred percent of it is total subectivity and a good three quarters of it will likely fly directly into the face of fashion and good taste.
Why is this important? Shoes tell a lot about a person. I’m not really able to provide concrete examples, BUT a girl who is going to think crocs are acceptable footwear ever is not on anywhere near the same page as me - or she’s 50 in which case it’s a moot point. To recap, this is not a fact based issue, so feel free to disagree but feel less free to talk to me about your feelings.
The Awful. (-1) - Essentially, a girl needs to be my friend before i see her wear these for her to stand a chance.
-anything with a large heel. Want your legs to look great? go to the gym.
-Crocs and Uggs. make you look like your mom dresses you.
The Acceptable.(0) -
-Ballerina flats. They look like canoes for your feet, but they’re so damned ubiquitous that if i ruled them out i would be a catheter away from my dick being just for show.
-Running shoes. they’re part of the TOTAL NERD dress code for dudes, so it’s only fair to hate on girls for the same reason - unless you’re in a place where you need to be able to run at any given time, or are legitimately wearing them for proper foot support.
-Flip flops. Enh. shoes hold in a lot of heat which is why i sweat a lot (ladies, one at a time!). some are obviously better than others, but don’t be surprised if you wear them to a dance club and they break (no i won’t carry you and no you can’t have my shoes).
-Wedges, stilettos (in a formal environment). Wedges ain’t too bad and stilettos at weddings are tolerable.
-Crappy or gaudy sneakers. “a shoe is just a shoe, whatever” crowd fits here.
The pretty sweet. (+1)-
-Awesome sneakers. Attention getting, not attention seeking. the subjectivest part of my rating scale!
-Pumas. You know the ones i mean. and if you don’t, think of the ones that sometimes have half the shoe cut away and look dumb. the full one.
-Birks. Can’t explain, but I dig em.
-Skate shoes. The best option.
The long and the long of it is that I put a lot of thought into my shoes and I expect a girl who is on my level to do the same. Since I’ve got a bit of vacant real estate in the area, we can call it an ideological difference.
Hey, we’ve all got our idiosyncrasies.
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