Single write male,

Today, I signed up on www.okcupid.com to peruse. I could try and play it off like it was some sort of lark but you really wouldn’t believe me, so I will say i was hunting for three wives with whom to move to Utah.

While this turned out to be a two hour detour into time wastopolis, I did notice a few things:

1) I have very little in common with attractive girls that use okcupid. most of my results that elicited any sort of “yay” were approximately 50% compatability. fuck em.

2) Of the few attractive girls that i scored highly with, 75% (which was only like three, don’t let the liberal media control how you think and feel!) of them were some variety of east Asian. I have no idea what this means.

3) the one attractive white girl i scored highly with, i am already friends with. awwwww yeah.

Even the internet is weirdly complacent in my lovelessness. After so much time together, I would have expected it to show me some love.

For shits and also for giggles, if you could describe me in one story, leave it in a comment. I’m soliciting you, fuckers, so do it.